Because we don't know anything! Maybe it doesn't need to do that, maybe it's... maybe I just used it wrong or... or had it on too long, I don't know, but...
Oswald this is the first time I've found anything!
You're right! We don't know anything, and you had a stroke! It's not like you just got a headache or felt a little sick; whatever you did with it made it so there was nearly blood in your brain, and could've possibly caused extensive permanent damage! [his voice cracks, tears, jumps up the octave--and he sputters, incredulous] A-a-and what do you mean "found anything?!" Found anything for what?
For what I am! For... For what I can do, for any of that-- I've looked, I've looked so much, you have no idea, and there's never been anyone or a-anything, but now I've got... something. And it's terrifying, but if I'm careful and can just find out some things...
Something that gave you a stroke. [hissed, through clenched teeth--why does Edward seem to be just forgetting that all of the sudden?? And he's sucking in a breath through his nose, harsh, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. If he's careful, is it? He wants to find out some things? Oswald feels like he might've lost Edward to this thing if Butch hadn't been there; terrifying doesn't even begin to cover it. Why would Edward want anything to do with that thing?!
He wants to scream; he can feel it battering at the back of his teeth, and he clenches his jaw to hold it back. He wants to throw something, but he's not going to do that either. Oswald takes in several deep breaths through his nose, shaking; whether with rage or terror or a mix of both, he's not sure.
He just...needs to be a lawyer right now. Look at the problem like a lawyer. When he gets home, he can smash something, but not right now.
Another several breaths, getting steadier.]
What do you mean, "find out some things." [flat. he's not looking at Edward because he can't, but he's dropped his hands to clench fists at his sides, fingers digging into his palms, and he looks down at the duffel bag]
I'm aware I had a stroke. From what I can recall of it, it was an unpleasant experience. One I don't want to repeat.
[He glares at Oswald, with all the sharp iciness from way back during their first meeting.]
That's why I'm going to do my research and try to learn more. And then, maybe, I can figure out how to use it. Or, rather, find a way that other people can use it.
So that maybe I don't have to be alone anymore, the way I've been my whole life. Because as far as I can tell, there is no one like me. But this way, other people could understand it.
[He just... He wants someone to understand. He wants... He wants to be able to talk to someone about it and have them understand what it's like.
He doesn't want to be alone.]
...I don't expect you to get that. But it's more important to me than you could ever know.
[be a lawyer. be a lawyer. He can't be Oswald right now, because Oswald would just blow a gasket, would go back to screaming, and what would the use of that be? Obviously it's not going to make Edward see any kind of sense; he's clearly to enamored of clinging to whatever it is this little thing that made him hemorrhage blood into his brain can do. Because who knows what else it can do; what sort of havoc it can wreck?
And more importantly, apparently, why would Edward care? He certainly hasn't cared much for his own safety before. Why did Oswald expect him to start caring now?]
...I can see that. [still flat. and he's moving to pick up his case files and put them away, methodically, almost robotic.]
[Edward doesn't entirely know why that tone is getting to him. The flat voice, like this doesn't matter, like this isn't even worth engaging with. It stings, a lot, coming from Oswald.
Edward keeps expecting him to be different, and yet--]
...
Never mind.
I'm clearly wasting my time trying to explain it.
[It's never worth explaining anything to anyone. He keeps having to learn that, over and over again. That's on him.]
No, I understand well enough. [dully] After all, what importance could your health and safety have in the face of such a thing.
[he lifts his bag up onto his shoulder] If you'll excuse me, I'm afraid that if I stay in this room any longer, I'll give into the urge to crush that thing in to dust, which I believe would be all too detrimental to your goals.
[this is not a situation where it would help to talk about it. Edward is still healing from his stroke--it's only been a few days. And Elijah knows about being the calm between two very passionate people--that was most of being the third part to Oswald and Gertrude as soon as their son hit puberty.]
[Edward sleeps, a little while longer. The next time he wakes up... well, honestly, he feels pretty miserable. His head still feels fuzzy and there's an awful cold in his stomach.
...The second probably being more emotional than anything else.
He's just, going to sit up. And see if there's anyone hanging around.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Oswald this is the first time I've found anything!
no subject
no subject
no subject
He wants to scream; he can feel it battering at the back of his teeth, and he clenches his jaw to hold it back. He wants to throw something, but he's not going to do that either. Oswald takes in several deep breaths through his nose, shaking; whether with rage or terror or a mix of both, he's not sure.
He just...needs to be a lawyer right now. Look at the problem like a lawyer. When he gets home, he can smash something, but not right now.
Another several breaths, getting steadier.]
What do you mean, "find out some things." [flat. he's not looking at Edward because he can't, but he's dropped his hands to clench fists at his sides, fingers digging into his palms, and he looks down at the duffel bag]
no subject
[He glares at Oswald, with all the sharp iciness from way back during their first meeting.]
That's why I'm going to do my research and try to learn more. And then, maybe, I can figure out how to use it. Or, rather, find a way that other people can use it.
So that maybe I don't have to be alone anymore, the way I've been my whole life. Because as far as I can tell, there is no one like me. But this way, other people could understand it.
[He just... He wants someone to understand. He wants... He wants to be able to talk to someone about it and have them understand what it's like.
He doesn't want to be alone.]
...I don't expect you to get that. But it's more important to me than you could ever know.
no subject
And more importantly, apparently, why would Edward care? He certainly hasn't cared much for his own safety before. Why did Oswald expect him to start caring now?]
...I can see that. [still flat. and he's moving to pick up his case files and put them away, methodically, almost robotic.]
no subject
Edward keeps expecting him to be different, and yet--]
...
Never mind.
I'm clearly wasting my time trying to explain it.
[It's never worth explaining anything to anyone. He keeps having to learn that, over and over again. That's on him.]
no subject
[he lifts his bag up onto his shoulder] If you'll excuse me, I'm afraid that if I stay in this room any longer, I'll give into the urge to crush that thing in to dust, which I believe would be all too detrimental to your goals.
[and he moves to leave.]
no subject
[No one does.
Just another reminder that he's alone with this and always will be. Even Oswald doesn't understand him.
...It really hurts.]
Fine. Just... Leave me alone.
no subject
As you wish. I'll stay somewhere else, then.
[and he steps out, letting the door swing shut behind him]
no subject
Edward just lies back down, pulling his blanket over his head. Trying to ignore all the noise of the hospital. Just block it all out.]
no subject
That....didn't go well.
He floats down to sit gingerly on the edge of the bed]
...Edward?
no subject
This is not a conversation he wants to have. Not with anyone, but especially not with just another reminder of how different he is.]
no subject
Just...rest. We'll talk about this when you've had more time to recover, alright?
no subject
Mhm.
[He'd. Prefer not to, honestly. But he'll take this out, for now.]
no subject
no subject
...The second probably being more emotional than anything else.
He's just, going to sit up. And see if there's anyone hanging around.]
no subject
And Butch is sitting in a chair with his feet propped up, snoring quietly. It's dark out, which can be seen from the small window.
As he sits up, Elijah glances over]
Ah. Good evening.
no subject
Hm.
...]
...Evening.
no subject
no subject
[Just, sitting up a little more. Looking around a little more. Getting a better view of the room.]
no subject
Are you looking for something?
no subject
no subject
no subject
Then he glances over at his arm. IV and heart monitor, looks like. So he can't exactly move over there easily.]
...I will be if I can just get these off...
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)