[it feels like there's a fist or something, tightening in his chest and squeezing his heart and Oswald pushes off from the counter, slowly coming over and just standing in front of Edward's chair for a moment, unsure of what to do. He doesn't know how to help. What can he do, really?
So he just--well, Edward might not like it. He might pull back. But...] ...okay. [quietly, and Oswald takes a step closer, reaching out to wrap his arms around Edward and just...hold him for a moment. It's all he can do, really.]
[For a moment, as Oswald puts his arms around him, Edward freezes up a little, anxiously. There's a beat where he's just frozen. Scared.
But then he grasps Oswald's shirt, holding on almost desperately and... there's a sound Oswald might not be expecting. Because Edward's tended to keep his feelings inside, where it's safer. Even his moments of emotional vulnerability have been... generally understated, nightmares aside.
[Oswald's stomach gives a lurch at that, and his arms tighten around Edward, holding him close, hand petting down his spine, trying to be soothing, or at least grounding]
[It's been a very long time since Edward last cried. After a while, he just... stopped. It just seemed pointless, at some point. It didn't help anything.
Now it's just... flowing out of him and he can't stop it. He just holds onto Oswald.]
[and he'll hold Edward through it, as long as he needs, even as his ankle starts to throb quietly with standing in this position for so long. But he ignores it, just holding him tighter. If this is all he can do, he'll do it to the best of his ability.]
I don't mind you falling apart on me. [his arms tighten a bit around him] I...I'm glad you trust me enough. With this. [as for that other part, though....]
It was... the same this morning, too. When I was talking to you. I got scared and... and next thing I knew, it's like I couldn't control what I said or did anymore...
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So he just--well, Edward might not like it. He might pull back. But...] ...okay. [quietly, and Oswald takes a step closer, reaching out to wrap his arms around Edward and just...hold him for a moment. It's all he can do, really.]
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But then he grasps Oswald's shirt, holding on almost desperately and... there's a sound Oswald might not be expecting. Because Edward's tended to keep his feelings inside, where it's safer. Even his moments of emotional vulnerability have been... generally understated, nightmares aside.
But that's unmistakably the sound of a sob.]
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Now it's just... flowing out of him and he can't stop it. He just holds onto Oswald.]
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I'm sorry...
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I just... It felt like... [...] I don't know. Like it wasn't even really me.
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It was... the same this morning, too. When I was talking to you. I got scared and... and next thing I knew, it's like I couldn't control what I said or did anymore...
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...I don't... know what to do about it...
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[Right now... Right now, Edward just feels lost and scared and uncertain. He doesn't know what to do.]
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I... I really don't want this to happen. Honest.
[He feels awful about it. Maybe not entirely for the reasons he should, but. Even so.]
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Somehow...
Though at the same time a part of him can only think "See, of course you'd ruin this sooner or later".]
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[He's still quiet. Honestly, he's nervous about starting to cry again if he talks too much.]
Thank you...
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...thank you. For telling me.
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I was just... scared.
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