inhotwater | BORDERLANDS AU 1

yes i get that

and i still made a decision because

idk

it feels like that's a decision i should get to make about myself?

[sorry oswald this is just getting dumped on you but

well

too late to back out now]

i knew the risks

That doesn't make it better. In fact, would argue the opposite.

However, you're correct in that it was your decision to make. You're your own person.

And considering that, I don't see why my being mad matters to you.

I still going to do what I can to help you get off planet, if that's what you're concerned about.

???

i didn't ask about that??

No, you didn't. However it was the only explanation I could come up with as to why whether I was mad or not would be of concern.

i asked because i thought we were

[...what, friends?

that feels stupid, now.]

...

i can do something knowing the risks of it AND care that you're upset with me

i just can't really wrap my head around why

bridgit said you're worried

[briDGET

THE BETRAYAL]

I am, yes. Very worried.

[he doesn't want to talk about this because what is the point? Why does it matter?]

Would it have stopped you? If you had known that it would make me upset?

[he's fairly certain he knows the answer but he doesn't exactly want to have it confirmed, to be honest, which is why he didn't want to have this discussion in the first place. But it's out there now.]

[........good question

there's

a pause that goes on for quite a while, as Edward has to think about that]

i don't know

i wasn't expecting that to happen so

...i don't know

Edited 2022-06-08 20:46 (UTC)

no one's ever been worried about me before

[....oh.]

Well. I am.

Worried, that is.

I'm worried that you did that to yourself so casually. That you subjected yourself to that kind of pain and took that risk. I'm worried what that might be indicative of, and I'm worried about what you might consider doing in the future.

I also can't help but wonder if that's why you took that moonshot, even though you didn't have to. It's not that I'm ungrateful, but it does make me worry.

[ . . . ]

you think i decided to get hit with a moonshot on purpose?

I'd rather not think so but worry has a way of expanding, I'm afraid.

if it makes you feel any better i can just directly tell you:

i didn't.

would you like to hear about how i thought i'd gotten the shield up in time? that i'd been fast enough? how i realized that my own hesitation in getting to it is probably what caused me to get hit?

i did not intend to or want to die there like that oswald

i'm kind of insulted that even a part of you thinks that

just because i know what pain i can handle doesn't mean i don't have a sense of self preservation

That does make me feel a little better, yes.

[but now Edward's clearly angry so yeah, this is why he didn't want to talk about this. ]

Apologies.

are you actually sorry or just saying that

for all i know i haven't swayed you whatsoever and you're just trying to get out of the conversation

you're not especially clear when you talk no matter how much everyone else acts like youre so "easy to read"

When I apologize to you, it will always be sincere.

okay

that's a start

...are you still upset

Yes, but less so.

It will pass.

i didn't ask if it'll pass

can't you just say what's on your mind

i'm trying to do that, you could at least meet me halfway.....

I have been saying what's on my mind. I am upset and worried, and though your telling me that some of that is unfounded was helpful, that does not make it go away. I don't know that anything will. It is something that will resolve itself on its own, and I fear that discussing it further would only worsen things.

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