inhotwater | BORDERLANDS AU 1

The alternative being what exactly?

what happened when you came in

someone seeing me like

that

[.......hhhhhhh ok]

i don't like being vulnerable in front of people

.....no that's not strong enough

i hate it

[.....he is so not in the mindset to handle this well right now but boy is he going to try]

[another long moment for thought then--]

I can see where you're coming from and why you would hate such a thing.

Edited 2022-06-08 20:33 (UTC)

However, even though you knew what you were doing, there was still a risk. The idea of other qualified professionals being there is to minimize that risk.

yes i get that

and i still made a decision because

idk

it feels like that's a decision i should get to make about myself?

[sorry oswald this is just getting dumped on you but

well

too late to back out now]

i knew the risks

That doesn't make it better. In fact, would argue the opposite.

However, you're correct in that it was your decision to make. You're your own person.

And considering that, I don't see why my being mad matters to you.

I still going to do what I can to help you get off planet, if that's what you're concerned about.

???

i didn't ask about that??

No, you didn't. However it was the only explanation I could come up with as to why whether I was mad or not would be of concern.

i asked because i thought we were

[...what, friends?

that feels stupid, now.]

...

i can do something knowing the risks of it AND care that you're upset with me

i just can't really wrap my head around why

bridgit said you're worried

[briDGET

THE BETRAYAL]

I am, yes. Very worried.

[he doesn't want to talk about this because what is the point? Why does it matter?]

Would it have stopped you? If you had known that it would make me upset?

[he's fairly certain he knows the answer but he doesn't exactly want to have it confirmed, to be honest, which is why he didn't want to have this discussion in the first place. But it's out there now.]

[........good question

there's

a pause that goes on for quite a while, as Edward has to think about that]

i don't know

i wasn't expecting that to happen so

...i don't know

Edited 2022-06-08 20:46 (UTC)

no one's ever been worried about me before

[....oh.]

Well. I am.

Worried, that is.

I'm worried that you did that to yourself so casually. That you subjected yourself to that kind of pain and took that risk. I'm worried what that might be indicative of, and I'm worried about what you might consider doing in the future.

I also can't help but wonder if that's why you took that moonshot, even though you didn't have to. It's not that I'm ungrateful, but it does make me worry.

[ . . . ]

you think i decided to get hit with a moonshot on purpose?

I'd rather not think so but worry has a way of expanding, I'm afraid.

if it makes you feel any better i can just directly tell you:

i didn't.

would you like to hear about how i thought i'd gotten the shield up in time? that i'd been fast enough? how i realized that my own hesitation in getting to it is probably what caused me to get hit?

i did not intend to or want to die there like that oswald

i'm kind of insulted that even a part of you thinks that

just because i know what pain i can handle doesn't mean i don't have a sense of self preservation

That does make me feel a little better, yes.

[but now Edward's clearly angry so yeah, this is why he didn't want to talk about this. ]

Apologies.

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